Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
