They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome