he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
50% drunk capacity currently
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin