i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize