somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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