am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
