Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
