Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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