i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
