Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
