lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
