Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
