Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
