There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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