I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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