My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
