Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
