i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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