it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
