But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
