We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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