So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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