Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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