I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
