as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
