it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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