I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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