what day is it and did you see me today?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
