Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
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This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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