google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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