Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
found the other keg... it's in the tree
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
