Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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