Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
