u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
