3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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