why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
