But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
