I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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