I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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