he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
