if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
