It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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