all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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