his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize