Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
