that's an acceptable place to lick
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
