Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I had to cum in my sink.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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