Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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