I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My dick has a subreddit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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