when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He? As in you personified your dick?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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