I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
