You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
