so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
