I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
