Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
