Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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