your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
