Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
