Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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