I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize