Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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