Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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