I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize