Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
PANTIES FOUND
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