I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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